how exactly does one let go?
My ex-girlfriend was my first and last relationship, and yet even with the fact that i was the one who broke up with her, it feels like i'm the one who was more affected.
I still see her pop up while i'm going about my day. My throat clogs up, I forget how to breathe, i'm being consumed by thick black tar. the tar whispers to me, it tells me that she talks about me, she's made everyone hate me. it tells me that i hurt her so badly that she's now stuck in some tar, too.
It also tells me i'm narcissistic, entitled for thinking she would even spare a second glance at me. it says that i never affected her as much as she affected me. there's another voice too though, one that i might not even hear unless my ears are listening close. it says that i need to talk to her in any way i can, that i need to tell her how i feel and that i'm sorry, and that i hope she's a better person to others than she was to me.
It says that I need to ensure her that there's a valid reason and that there's nothing wrong with her. it's the worst one of all, because it's the one i know is the most wrong but the most intrusive. The worst part? i forget how young i was when it all started. i forget that it was her who made me feel like this.